I am
Sorry
(Delhi
To Gurgaon)
Published By Saurabh Shishodia at smashwords
Copyright 2011 Saurabh Shishodia
Smashwords Edition
Act 1: What the hell
1
As she was waiting for me in the corridor ferocious animals of our college were gazing at her from top to bottom, students of mechanical engineering who care more about girl’s figure than of machines. I guess the blame has to be taken by number of girls in their class, unfortunately for them that are Zero. If by chance some girl happens to be in mechanical, rather than being number one on those boy’s list, she will be number one in sports meet. The boys were not so bad, in fact they were better than some of the cool looking computer science and electronics guys but the tag of ‘mechanci’ makes them look fools among super fools.
She always looked beautiful even more when she was angry because she knew I was with a nymphomaniac junior girl of IT, well those are the words she often used to refer her. Well I never believed my luck that I was with the top 3 hot girls of the college, if not hot, at least beautiful which we boys used to say for her when she even didn’t know me.
I reached our meeting point half an hour late
‘Where were you’ she questioned as if I have got a job done
‘Aru , I was in the library’
‘With that same Nympho girl, hmm ok’
I would never understand her even our year long relationship because the word ‘angry’ was never suitable for her because I never saw her getting angry on me even I am sitting and laughing with any girl.
She would just have some curvy lines on her forehead to tell me that she is not comfortable and next moment she will be fine with no problem at all even if I have got a job done.
‘Was she hot, does she kiss better than me?’ She said
‘You know you are the best girlfriend’ I shouted as if she has won Miss India crown
‘You too best bf’ she smiled
‘Blue film’
‘Oh please don’t crack those stupid PJ of yours otherwise you will be ‘
‘The best’ I took the pride by saying that
‘How could you be so cool knowing I am with someone else’
‘You are helping her in electronics, I know and she is using you because she know that you are my very innocent baba’
My cheeks became red like a Mickey Mouse,
’ don’t leave me ever ok’ I told her as I would every day before leaving and dropping her at the hostel.
She always knew everything and I would never take that advantage of her because I don’t want to lose her except for Gul Panag, about which she knew about it. She would never ever go with me to see Gul Panag movie to DT cinema because I would care only about what Gul Panag is doing not what Aradhna wants me to do.
As I was about to leave after dropping her at the hostel
‘My friend, how are you? Voice coming from behind.
It was Rachit, a college hot-shot who always keep sending vulgar messages to her and has been suspended for this twice.
I didn’t care and started to walk towards the gate.
‘I wonder, if you could satisfy her’ He said and started walking with me.
‘What kind of a man, are you, men like you become rapist and do honour killings of their sisters.’
‘Wow that was something I didn’t expect my friend, you have got a nice humour, probably that is the reason she is with you’ He said sarcastically.
‘Bug off , don’t dare to trouble me or her’
‘What you would do, lodge a complaint against me, this time they wouldn’t even suspend me, my standards are improving’
I didn’t care and keep moving forward, Aradhna saw me from her room’s window and called me instantly on my phone. Before I could pick my phone, he snatched it and threw it away.
‘What’s your problem you bastard?’
‘I don’t have a problem, you have a problem no-ball, why we decide on equal terms, let’s have a fight, you and me for her, tonight’
It reminded of my past and made me looked like a scumbag.
I picked up my phone got it fixed and sat inside my cab. Rachit was looking at me from behind and pointed finger at me as if I am in his hit list.
Rachit’s dad was a big business tycoon which used to give him confidence doing all kind of shit things and lot of students used to back him up because everybody likes party banger who would get them booze and girls.
2
I was coming home by cab along with other college students then I got a call from my mom
‘Where are you?’ She asked
‘In the cab, reaching in half an hour’
‘Why so late?’
‘One of them came late’
‘You should have come in another cab’
‘Others already left, got no choice’
‘Ok come straight to home’
‘Ok bye’
My mother was very over-possessive about me not just she hate Aradhna being with me, in fact she liked her a lot because she was from the same place my mother belong too. Crimes in Delhi used to scare her a lot, when she would hear some bad news on those sucking Hindi news channels, she would call to ask whether I am fine or not. Not just mom but dad also showed signs of a possessive father but I never showed any signs of frustration because I liked it as it makes you feel special when you don’t have many in your life that makes you feel special.
‘Was that your girlfriend?’ a girl in my cab asked
She was my junior whom I never used to talk because she always made us to wait for her in the evening everyday when cab was ready to leave. She used to be sitting with her boyfriend and then made excuses of being busy in some shit non-existing assignments.
‘AAhhh’ I didn’t want to answer her
‘She seems very over possessive ‘she said without even thinking twice
‘I am a lucky boy’
‘Whatever I can’t stand my boyfriend if he disturbs me too much, it must be your first time, that’s why’
‘What do you mean how many boyfriends till now you had?’ I asked
‘This is my 3rd, I guess if I am not wrong’ she said proudly
I was shocked and didn’t know what to say but I guess I am the one who is lagging behind the world. There is nothing wrong with this generation who want to try everything. May be I am boring but I would try to change myself not for them but for Aradhna so that she never gets bored of me.
‘That is so cool, I wish I could have threesome, no I mean I can have 2 girlfriends at a time’ I said keeping my feelings within me.
‘Best of luck’ she said like a winner
‘Have you broken up with Shobhit?’ I asked
‘No at all’ she replied anxiously
‘Ok, I guess I misunderstood’
‘What you misunderstood, tell me’ she asked anxiously
‘No I saw him with another girl of our college, no-no just chuck it’
‘That must be that Riya bitch’ she said in anger
She immediately called her boyfriend and abused him using all the ‘f’ words that exist in this world. The first thing people try to learn are abusive words in the language of the place they are migrating too. Sometimes I used to gave these people own taste of their medicine, she tried to finger me I gave her the whole hand.
I reached home and as soon as I rang the bell, she was right there waiting for me.
‘Get ready, we already getting late’
‘For what?’ I asked
‘Don’t tell me you forget it, you cousin’s sangeet ceremony’
‘What will I do there, I hate functions?’
‘Try to socialise salil, nobody would come in your marriage’
‘That’s good, it will save us lot of money on food’
‘Just shut up and get ready, your dress is waiting for you in your room’
I went inside my room and saw white silver Sherwani
‘I am not wearing this mom’ I said loudly so that she heard it in the next room.
She came inside and picked up that joker dress
‘Is there any problem with this?’ she asked
‘I will look joker in this’
‘You will look handsome in this, believe me’
‘I am not wearing this, that’s final’ I took my favourite old shirt and pair of jeans
‘If you are coming with us wearing that slum dress, you are not coming with us, better stay here’
‘That’s a better option’ I replied
My wardrobe malfunctions were the only hot topic on which I used to have smoking debate with my mom and dad used to act as a moderator, but in the end there was always one winner me. She didn’t talk to me after that and even dad didn’t dare to ask me to go. They told me they would stay at my aunt’s house so better eat my food myself. I tried that Sherwani Dress after that and I was not looking so bad, probably I would use it in my wedding, why waste for cousin’s marriage?
3
I was a local Delhi boy and daily used to travel to Gurgaon, city of malls in neighbouring state of Haryana. I was never a popular boy before our relationship in college started, maybe because I didn’t represent a community or I never had a talent or personalities to win every girl’s heart in the college, only reasons which make girls have long conversations during night in Hostels. But Aradhna was different, I mean not in the way that she was attracted to girls or she doesn’t like being in love with someone. She wanted somebody simple and sober in her life, at least that what she said to me. After we started going out, people started noticing me as if I have robbed everyone from the ultimate pleasure in their life including professors.
Late at Night
‘Where are you?’ me sitting on my couch watching FTV as dad and mom were out for cousin’s Sangeet ceremony for the whole night.
‘IN the room why?’ she said
‘Where’s Nita’
‘I suppose you are interested in my roommate should I talk to her for you?’ She asked sarcastically
‘Hey I was just ....’
‘Hey chill pulling your leg’ she laughed
‘That Rachit bastard called me again and told me to leave you. He said you are a coward and doesn’t deserve me’
Rachit was the heartthrob of the college and the only beautiful girl he hasn’t touched was Aradhna. The only disagreement between us used to happen because of that boy as whole college thought that I don’t have balls to protect her from him. That boy even threatened me so many times but I never give a damn, which made Aradhna very angry because she wanted me to kick his butt once and forever, but I can’t.
Why I can’t there was a story behind it, not now but some time later.
‘What was your reply’ I asked
‘I think you should give him the reply’
‘Chuck it; you know I don’t like to fight’
‘That is the only quality of yours I love the most and hate the most’
‘Thank you, my pleasure, can we talk about something else’ I asked.
I always avoid telling her about this non-violence shit of my life and she never got into it which made my life so easy that I didn’t care what my college students said about my coward balls.
Bell rang as if God also want me to be saved from Rachit and my balls talks.
‘Wait there is someone at the door’
I went to the door and opened the door.
‘Hi salil wasssup’ She asked in total hangover
There was my cousin sister Nittu dressed up in Lahenga and with 2 Litres of Beer in her stomach.
‘I guess you should be in your sister’s sangeet ceremony’ I asked surprisingly so that she understands in spite of being high.
‘Common that party was so boring and there was no booze and when I knew you were alone, I got worried and came here’
I didn’t saw her face for a year and half and there she was all high came to my house, saved me from my balls talks and now talking as a caring cousin sister.
‘I am Ok and responsible if you don’t know me’
‘That was rude and at least let me inside no’ pushed me and got into the house.
‘Where is your room, I want to sleep’
As soon as I pointed finger at my room she went inside without the courtesy of asking me.
She came out and asked
‘Can I have lemon juice and a Disprins’ I guess she ordered not asked.
It was her daily diet before going to bed and as far as I remember her dad was also on same diet before he stopped drinking “Patiala’s” because of his liver failure and his LIV 52 refused to save his life.
I went to kitchen to get lemon juice and was searching for Disprins in Mom’s medical kit. That time I realized why my mother always keeps telling me to keep my things in proper place. So that when I need it urgently, I can find it immediately. There it was with a label on it ‘Medical Kit’ in the lower cupboard with dad’s medicines being in a separate box as he was a heart patient and was on a daily dose.
I went to the kitchen after a long time, last time I went to make a omelette for me but I messed it up while breaking the egg with all the yolk felling on my football cleats. My football friends smell it every time during practice and try to find out the culprit, no matter how many times I try to wash, that smell has never gone telling me not to go in the kitchen again. But here I was in the Kitchen making lemon juice for my cousin sister but suddenly I hear a voice as if somebody is watching a porn movie in my room.
I got so nervous and thought for a second about my sister finding my porn movie collection and that too Porn star Priya Rai collection, she shouts too much getting banged as if she is doing it to get extra paid. And when I entered I saw my cousin sister getting hooked on with a guy who looks like a Rajpal Yadav of Hulchul, long hairs and looks like a pimp.
‘Who the fuck is he’ I shouted.
‘If I say he is my husband, would it satisfy and allow us to carry our conversation’ she said as if she is Pamela Anderson trying to get 12th modelling assignment from playboy.
‘Get out before I tell everyone about it’ I shouted again.
‘Sallu darling lets go, sorry about my virgin brother ‘she said.
‘Hey dude just chill I can get you a girl if so’ that guy said like a pimp.
I lost it while holding him I took him at the main door followed by my sister, I guess she was not.
‘My shoes’ He said
I went back to room and find these crazy pair of shoes with nude photos of buxom models, throwing at them
‘Chill man’ He again said.
‘Don’t tell this to anyone, ok’ she ordered rather than requesting me.
I banged the door and came in to my room to check whether they have left anything bad like I mean condoms. I didn’t know what to do; I picked my phone and ranged my mother.
‘Mom, Nittu was here, I mean she was here with her boyfriend and I threw them out of the house’
‘Are you alright’ she asked to check whether that boyfriend has hurt me or not.
‘We are coming’ she said.
‘No need mom I am alright’ I told her so that she doesn’t worry my dad because he doesn’t like anyone to disturb his sleep midnight even he is sitting in a sangeet ceremony.
He put down the phone convincing her not to come home late night. Seeing at my landline phone reminded me about my mobile phone on hold which I left inside my room when the bell rang. I went inside my room and picked my phone to say
‘Hello aru are u there’
She has cut the phone, I called her but she didn’t pick it up. I called her again but she didn’t, it made me think whether she has misinterpreted that guy as me because my cousin sister was calling him as “Sallu” and Aradhna also calls me as “Sallu”. I called her roommate Shikha in case she has switched off her mobile phone.
‘Hi Shikha Salil here where is Aru, I mean Aradhna’ I asked like a 5 years old boy.
‘Hi, I suppose she is in the room, I am on the terrace’
‘Could you just check whether she is alright?’
‘What happened?’
‘Nothing just check if she has switched off her mobile phone, if you don’t mind’
‘Ok, I am going downstairs, but what happened?’
‘Nothing serious, just like that’
I never wanted anyone to know about this misunderstanding otherwise hostel girls would tell everybody and then every nymph boy would try on her like a wolf in coming days. I sounded selfish for the first time in my life as I don’t want to lose the most precious asset of my life. There I sounded like an entrepreneur of the future.
‘She has locked the door’ she said after checking the door.
‘What, are you sure, just check it again’ I said.
‘She has locked it’ she again clarified.
‘Did you fight’ she asked me smelling something fishy.
‘No but something happened, I can’t tell you just try something’ I said
‘Ok, I will get some help’
‘No No don’t just don’t’ sounding like a selfish boyfriend
‘But why’ she asked.
‘I don’t want anyone to know about it, girls will start talking shit about it in future and would make her life hell’ I said.
‘What about now are you not concerned about present, I must get some help’
‘No don’t, ok ahem, I am coming in half an hour, just try to remain calm ok ‘
‘Are you crazy or nuts, I am not waiting for you’ she said
‘Please try and understand Shikha, you are her best friend and knows about her, she will be tormented for the rest of 2 years if this gets out, just please wait for me’ I said in desperation.
‘Ok I will wait for you for half an hour, and then I will try to get the door open, ok’
‘Ok I am coming, and thank you, just don’t tell anyone or let anyone know about it ‘pretending to be a superhero now.
Act 2: The journey begins
1
11 p.m. in my watch
In my attempt to be the ultimate stupid superhero, I forgot that tonight I don’t have any vehicle because Dad and mom have taken our one and only sweet Maruti 800 and dad wouldn’t let me touch his Honda city as he always keep the keys with him because he knows, that such a shit situation like this can happen in his stupid son’s life. The last metro leaves at 11 p.m. which also made me think like a stupid idiot that situation should have happened half an hour ago, so that I can use the metro service.
I started thinking about other alternatives and Ashwin my best friend came into my mind. He was a Tamil boy completely opposite in nature in comparison with me. He never made it to the engineering college admissions because of his lack of devotion in preparing for IIT’s and utter devotion in music, used to study in Delhi University which he never attended till date, Always an alcoholic who never made friends in college and almost lost hope in him. It was a while we met because of my commitments towards Aradhna and college. We decided to make our own band like our favourite Indian Ocean but I rattled his dreams by getting admission in to the college as I have to, it was my mom’s dream that I become a computer engineer from a repudiated institute, if not IIT then a decent one and I got a decent one in Gurgaon.
I gave him the call
‘Hello’ He said being in hangover.
‘Hi ashu, Salil here’ I said
‘You still remember me dude’ He said sarcastically.
‘Ashu there is problem Yaar’
‘Oh, so you called me because you need me, tell me’
‘Ashu there is an emergency I need your car dude’
‘Dad has taken my car; he caught me smoking grass’
‘Ok. No problem dude’ I put down the phone.
I got more worried and thought about making a call to Shikha to get help as I won’t be able to reach home.
I got a call, it was Ashwin
‘Hi dude, what is the problem’ sounded like a concerned friend
‘I need to reach hostel asap, Aradhna is in trouble’
‘I have got my servant’s bike, you can take it’ he said
‘Fine I am coming to your place’ I said
‘No need dude I am coming, I will go with you to hostel’
First I thought to refuse him, but then I realized that it’s time for a reunion and especially with a good friend who existed much before Aradhna in my life. He came to my home in a not so looking great 125 c.c. bike whose name I couldn’t even see on the oil tank. It looked to me like a Bollywood stunt bikes of 80’s on which duplicates used to show macho image of their originals.
‘I think it’s not the right time for a hug’ He said
‘I should ride go back’ I said
‘No dude you can’t handle this crazy bike, let me ride it, I will make it fast’
I sat down like a satisfied heart patient who thinks he has a got a best Heart surgeon of the city operating on him. When he put down the first gear and accelerate, I felt sitting in that Dragon fun ride of Appu Ghar which I was missing for so many years after it got shut down due to Metro Station.
Ashwin was a crazy rider which made him a hot shot in our school because of his under 18 crazy stunts in front of school gate and got suspended for that, but manage to impress one of the girl who is now his girlfriend studying in Mumbai. He was all alone and on the verge of a break up like me if I am thinking like a pessimist. He got a call
‘Take this handle’ He told me while riding as he put his hand into his pocket.
‘I am busy, don’t call’ He shouted and gave his phone to me taking back the bike’s handle from me.
I went through his messages and found out that nothing was going well between him and his girlfriend. I thought about asking him but then I thought it was time to take my case than his case, thinking like a selfish friend. That what competition, engineering and education does to you, you start thinking about you or giving preferences to yourself.
2
11:30 in my watch
We reached MG road just passing by the Great Qutab Minar with lighting all around it looking beautiful as ever. Then suddenly a cop came out of nowhere in front of us and stopped us
‘Where coming, where going’ He asked in his broken English.
‘Sir coming from Saket, going to Gurgaon ‘I said politely.
‘Why so late’ He asked
I thought he was drunk but he was not, maybe it was his style to make young students like us to piss in our pants.
‘Going to Gurgaon to friend’s place to study Sir, exam tomorrow’
‘Study or going for a massage, it seems you are drunk’
`No sir I am telling the truth’
‘License?’ He asked’
I took out the license and gave it to him, he saw and
‘Get in the van, impound it’ telling his subordinate
‘No sir, please’
All he wanted was money, but all I got was 20 rupee note in my purse. I thought about asking Ashwin to give him some bucks, but I guess, could not expect anything from him after getting him into this shit. After our persuasive lines
‘I cannot leave you without fine’ He said expecting something from me.
‘We are just students Sir, no money’
‘Ok then do something for us’
‘I mean, what Sir’ Thinking about some physical pleasure from us.
‘Please Sir, let us go’ Thinking about the time I have wasted to save the love of my life.
‘Give your phone’ He ordered
‘No Sir, I can’t give it’
‘You have no authority to stop us like this’ Ashwin shouted suddenly.
‘Sorry Sir I say sorry for him’
He looked at me in an anger mood but said sorry to him citing my need of urgency to save Aradhna.
‘But you have to do something for us’ He said like a criminal.
I thought he would ask for a physical pleasure but then
‘Dance for us’ He said like a King as if we are belly bar dancers.
‘What Sir’ Shockingly
‘If you didn’t dance, I shove it this stick of mine in your ass’
His subordinate played a Bollywood song ‘Munni badnam Hui’ as it was a major hit song of the year which has been pissing me on all FM stations.
I started to dance in a very funny no way close to be called as a dancer, Aradhna always used to help me dance in a nice way during our fest or college parties, so that others don’t make fun of me.
But Ashwin was in no mood, suddenly
‘Hey, This is not working, You ass become girl, this tough guy becomes a guy, now dance’
They were laughing and pissing us but we couldn’t do anything that time. I didn’t know about Ashwin, but he moved slightly but I danced like a bar dancer, what I have seen on television. I moved my ass like a stripper Demi Moore of movie striptease which was pissing Ashwin more, and he was trying to do his part.
‘Make him feel like your customer’
I stopped and saw Ashwin who was telling me to stop through his eyes, and
‘Why didn’t you go to a bar and see your mother dancing’ Ashwin said like a superhero
The policemen shouted, grabbed us by our collars and abuse us in all the great MC’s and BC’s words that were obvious to come from their mouth after what Ashwin said. Some words were quiet innovative that even I haven’t heard off and I thought I should note down some of the words so that I can use them against those Mechanical boys of our college to show signs of chauvinism to Aradhna.
And suddenly I got the premonition with a blackout
3
Aradhna is dead: First Time
I found myself in the hostel standing with her friend trying to break the door.
I entered her room with her friend and saw Aradhna lying on her bed and when I called her
‘Aradhna are you alright?’
‘You are too late love, see you in hell’ she said dropping her bottle of poison.
Suddenly her friend Shikha holds me and started shouting
‘He has killed Aradhna, Salil has killed her’
Some 15-20 girls, I don’t know the count, it doesn’t matter jumped on me and started hitting me with sandals and plates which ever thing they find out nearby.
‘I didn’t kill her, she has taken those pills, I didn’t’
‘An eye for an eye’ one fat girl said and was holding a kitchen knife in her hand
‘I didn’t kill her, may she was troubled by studies, you know girls how she is?’ I tried to persuade them
‘You know me, I haven’t hurt anyone’ I said again as she was approaching me
‘We know boys, you are one of them, dogs and today one of them will die’ fat girl said.
‘Hold his hands girls; don’t let him move a bit, he will suffer pain tonight’