A Creation Myth
Destin Joyal
Smashwords Edition
Copyright Destin Joyal 2010
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
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First of all, I’m only going to say this once, so pay attention. The beginning is a bit tricky.
In the beginning there was nothing. No water, no trees, no gods, no first people.
Nothing.
Got that?
So a great while passed and there was still nothing.
Nothing at all.
This picks up, don’t worry.
And then, for no particular reason, a god appears.
I mean, something had to happen eventually.
Are you still with me?
Not lost yet?
Good.
So this god calls itself Tyler, even though language doesn’t exist.
That’s a touch confusing, isn’t it?
Tyler sits (floats?) in the nothing for a while.
Time passes, but we don’t know how much, because Tyler doesn’t have a watch.
Eventually, Tyler decides that it’s bored.
So Tyler decides to create two friends – Jesus and Christ.
“Jesus! Christ! It’s good to see you!” Tyler says (thinks?) at them.
Jesus and Christ decide this particular joke is not funny.
At all.
They also decide that the nothing is pretty empty.
So they decide to create a world.
But Tyler stops them.
“Jesus! Christ! What are you doing?”
The pair doesn’t know really, but they do know the joke isn’t funnier the second time around.
How they even managed to create the thought of creating a world is a touch tricky, so we’ll give it a skip and just accept it.
So they tell Tyler.
And Tyler thinks that it’s pretty good.
So they go about creating it.
First they start with some rock.
Just rock, nothing too mind-boggling like water, or trees, or life.
And Tyler thinks that this is pretty good.
“Jesus! Christ! That’s a good idea!”
They decide the joke is no good.
At all.
And it never will be.
But they continue going about world making.
They add some water.
They think its pretty fun – it’s wet, it splashes if they make it.
And then Tyler makes an executive decision to add some trees.
“Jesus! Christ! Those are some cool trees!”
They decide they’ve had enough of that joke, and promptly sack Tyler.
There is a brief fight following this decision, with a lot of name shouting and bad jokes over how the lesser gods can sack Tyler.
But in the end, Jesus and Christ come out on top.
And change their names to Good and Evil.
For the sake of simplicity.
Are you still there?
None of this is too confusing?
It is?
Too bad.
I said I’d only say this once.
So Good and Evil continue making the earth.
And eventually Good decides that there are no waves on the water, because there is no wind.
So it creates wind.
But the wind begins to sweep the entire world and Evil gets angry at this.